Mammograms

Hola Everyone!

I hope you all had a wonderful day, for it’s the second of FEBRUARY. Who would have thought? I just can’t believe its February already. Once again, the sun was out for a few minutes this morning while it was still bitter cold. I tell you, I saw a couple guys walking around campus in t-shirts (ARE THEY CRAZY OR WHAT?) My little kindergartens could tell them how to dress properly, whereas I on the other hand had many sweaters on and was bundled up. Despite the extra layers, I was still vibrating.

I wanted to share something funny with you that I received in an email from my lovely mom yesterday. I read it to some of my nursing gals and I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. We were sitting in the lower cafe and I was literally crying tears because it was that hilarious. My cheeks went red and my abdomen may have hurt afterwards.

Please enjoy!

Mammograms

Many woman are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

Exercise One:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn’t effective enough.

Exercise Two:

Visit your garage at 3am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

Exercise Three:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

You are totally prepared!

AND, just a thought for all the women out there......

MENtal illness, MENstraul cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause...

Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?... And when we have real roubles it’s HISterectomy!

 

Don’t worry, I’m not a man hater, just thought this was hilarious